My Depression Don’t Define Me

I Have Always Asked Myself Should I Speak Up About My Depression. Would Other’s Even Care Or Even Be There?! Like Family And The Few Friends I Have. Will They Actually Be There Or Will I Hear The Same Stupid Responses I Have Heard Since I’ve Been Diagnosed Which Was At The Age Of 17. Like “Let It Go” Or “You Gotta Get Over That” Or “Why You Even Depressed! Some Even Said “Man Up” In So Many Words. I Guess It Was Cause They Had Their Own Life Issues To Handle Huh?! I Have Always Struggled With My Mental Health. For A Long Time And By Myself. At First I Was Skeptical About Telling Friends And Family About What I’m Dealing With Because No One Cares Anyway. I Suffer With Insomnia And That Brought On Anxiety. Than After A While It Manifested To Worrying! Worrying A lot! After Awhile The Worrying Got Serious; “Do I Deserve To Be Loved” Or “Why Am I Here” Or Even “Am I Gonna Die In My Sleep?” I Have Always Dealt With Self Doubt For A Long Time And Still Dealing With It. It Really Got The Best Of Me, I Was A Angry Teenager And Always Mean. Every Now And Than I Find Myself Still That Way. I Hardly Had Friends And Still Don’t And I Am Very Cool With That. Because Of My Depression It Causes Me To Have These Different Moods And Feelings Me And Friends Don’t Work Out Anyways. I Never Thought I Would Be Battling With Depression. I Have Always Been Strong Willed And Can Handle Anything. I Am Still That Person. My Depression Don’t Define Me As A Person. I Use To Hide It And I Used To Be Ashamed. Not Anymore! I Have Learned To Accept It. Back Than, When I First Found Out I Had Major Depression People Used To Ask If I Was Ok And I Would Say Yes. Knowing Deep Down I Was Struggling And Wasn’t Okay. Now, I Am Not Ashamed. I Ain’t The First And Won’t Be The Last To Suffer From Depression. A Few Years Ago Is When I Started Being Open About It. It Took Me Awhile To Start Being Open About It And Not Ashamed. Never Know Who I Can Help. And Talking About It Kind Of Help. When You Say You Have Depression Most People Think That Mean Your Weak But The One’s Who Think That Is Just Ignorant. Cause Like I Said Depression Doesn’t Define Who You Are As A Person. Some People Just Negative But I Won’t /Wouldn’t Let That Get To Me. Some People Just Won’t Understand. It Is How You Handle Your Depression Don’t Let It Handle You. Some Feel As If You Suffer From Depression Or Any Mental Illness That The Person Is Crazy, Weak, Weak minded, And A Psycho. Believe Me There’s More. It’s Sad Because People Have Feelings No Matter What Mental Illness They Have. I Know I’m Not Ashamed And I Am Speaking Up About It I Don’t Care About What Nobody Gonna Think About Me. My Depression Doesn’t Define Me But Is Apart Of Me. I At Times Talk To My Depression As If It’s A Person. It Visits Me And I Never Know How Long It Might Stay We Battle Constantly And Argue On Who Will Prevail And That Gets Tiring And Aggravating. Honestly It Is About How You Handle Your Depression/Mental Illness. Yes, When You Are Depressed It Has You Wanting To Do Nothing It Has Your Whole Body Aching, You Never Want To Get Out Of Bed, Sometimes You Just Sad For No Reason, Your Brain Constantly Thinking And Your Constantly Worrying You Never Smile, Or Want To Smile But See When I Feel All Them Different Emotions I Pray!! When I Don’t Want To Get Out Of Bed I Still Make Myself Get Up And Move Around And Get Things Done. Even Though Your Depression Maybe Major Or Severe Still Try To Make Yourself Get Up! Don’t Let It Take Over You Take Over It! At Times It Can Be Hard And Seem Hard But You Can Do It. You Have To Always Remember Those Are Feelings They Are Not Facts At All. That’s Why I said My Depression Doesn’t Define Me And Yours Doesn’t Have To Define You. Pray And Don’t Let It Get You Down Continue Doing What You Have To Do For You And Your Depression. And I Will Do The Same. Try When Your Feeling Down To Distract Your Thoughts Or Do House Chores To Keep Busy. That’s What I Do Or I Just Sit And Write Write Write. I Know Most Times The Feelings Seem Unbearable Believe Me I Know. I Deal With It Everyday Just About Some Days I Am Fine And Some Days I Just Feeling Like Crying But I Never And Will Never Let It Take Over Me. I Have My Son To Live For And He’s Looking Up To Me And Giving Up Is Not In Our Blood. I Refuse To Let My Depression Define Me And It Doesn’t. I’ve Heard A lot Of People Say That Their Depression Does Define Them Because It’s Apart Of Them. Not In My Book Though It Does Not Define Me And It Doesn’t Have To Define You.

Published by Expressive Jackie

Hello Beautiful People, My Name Is Jackie. I Am 31yrs Old And I Have A 9yrs Old Son. Who I Love So Much!!! His Name Is Jayden. I Also Love To Write, Take Pictures,And Help Others. I Suffer With Major Depression And Anxiety On A Daily Basis But I Try Not To Let It Stop Me. God Got Me!!!

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    1. 🤗🙂😉 thank you so much. I’m trying my best because tsome people don’t even know they depressed or suffering from Depression. I didn’t At First.

      Liked by 1 person

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