Good afternoon everyone!! I hope you all are having a great and blessed day. I hope you all enjoyed your Labor Day. My day is going good so far I can’t complain. My son Jayden keeps me going even when I feel I don’t have the energy. School is back in session for the kids, and man did the summer go by quick huh?! Jayden goes to a better school that is close to his dad’s house, because the schools located by me are horrible. Nowadays the teachers just doesn’t care to actually teach like they use too. So as I was saying, he goes to a better school by his daddy and he is doing so much better there! Yay!! I actually love the school and before switching my son Jayden, I had already heard so many good things about the school. So I decided to give the schools a try. He went from one school to the other, and he went from doing not so good to doing great! I saw the difference from the change, and it’s awesome! I’m so proud, I’m one proud mother of one. He comes by me on the weekend and this weekend it was a holiday right behind it, Labor Day which was Monday and he also had Tuesday off. He went back to school Wednesday, he’s not far from me at all and even though I see him everyday, I still always miss him when he is gone. But, his education comes first, and the first school he was attending was horrible and they had so many complaints. So, I had to do what was best for him, and his education.
My son’s father and I do whatever it takes to make sure our son is okay, and taken care of. From spending time with him and showing him what love really is, to showing him how important an education is, and that you can’t make it without it. Showing him life is what you make of it, so enjoy it. Teaching him right from wrong, because doing wrong gets you nowhere in life.
That’ll be another discussion, and another post that I will talk about. Upholding your kids when they do wrong.
My blog name has changed. I decided to change it to Face Depression. I started off with just Expressive Jackie. I’m new to blogging, even though it’s been a year, I am still learning also I wasn’t to sure on whether I actually wanted to blog for a purpose, or to just use it as a journal. As we all know, mental illnesses are looked down on. People believe it doesn’t exist, and some believe it’s all made up, that it’s all in a persons mind. But truth be told, those people are out of line, ignorant! They have no idea what goes on in a person who struggles with depression, or any other mental illness mind. So how can they say anyone is lying?! How can they say it’s all made up?! Not knowing, or understanding that this is one hard, terrifying thing to deal with. Everyday is like a nightmare, and it gets even worse if you don’t get help. Severe. You don’t have to be embarrassed or ashamed, just get the help that you need so that you can heal, and get back on the right track. You’ll feel so much better. I promise you this. You are not alone.
Everyday is battle, but it’ll all get better.
I can say it’s a battle but it’ll get better because I face the battle everyday, since I was 18. I wake up everyday and face those feelings! I wake up everyday and I face the pain! I wake up everyday and I face the nightmare everyone believes is all in your brain. When truly and honestly, nobody knows or understands, exactly how that feels. Especially if you haven’t been through it!
Mental illnesses should be treated just like any other illness. But unfortunately not, the stigma steady growing and the suicide rate steady growing. With so much stigma about mental illnesses people aren’t getting the help that they need. They’re too embarrassed to talk about it and just dealing with it, which is so not healthy!
Which is why I decided to change my blog name (Face Depression) and to also blog for a purpose! I know how it feels most definitely, and I know the stigma that’s around mental health. All of it is ignorance, and those are people who have no idea. They have no idea about the isolation, the guilt, the feelings of feeling hopeless, feeling worthless, feeling the constant anxiety, feeling empty inside of you, the not wanting to get out of bed. Why would anyone want to feel like that?! On purpose at that!
Some people don’t understand the type of beast depression can be, and all other mental illness.
That’s why I’m here to tell you all about it. It’s why I decided to go head on with my purpose for my blog. Everyday I face depression and as the days goes by, it gets better and better. I have learned to face my depression and fight back.
Everyday is a battle that I face. Most days are hard but I make it. I decided that I’m not letting this thing called depression & anxiety take me. I have a 9yr old son who loves me and needs me. He’s such a blessing to me. So, even when I feel down and don’t feel like getting dressed, or doing nothing, I get dressed! I do something! I take my bath, comb my hair, brush my teeth, and I get dressed, I get pretty. Struggling with depression it takes all your energy you don’t feel like doing nothing but to just lay in bed. But don’t feed into that, whatever you don’t feel like doing, do it!
If a friend is having that bbq, and you don’t feel like going, feeling like what’s the point of going I ain’t nobody, or feeling like nobody is going to like you, that’s when you face and you fight those feelings. Don’t just sit there letting your mind decide! Get up and get yourself prepared to get dressed, and get out of that house and enjoy your life! Don’t give up! Don’t stop fighting! You are not alone!
Yes I know all about the negative opinions that’s been said towards mental illnesses, mental health in general but you don’t let that stop you. You don’t let that stop you from getting help. People are going to say what they want, people are going to believe what they want to believe, and those same people don’t understand the pain and the nightmares of depression. Most people don’t understand the severity of depression, and other mental illnesses. Especially, African Americans. They see right through depression. They see right through a mental illness, as if it’s a sign of weakness. Not knowing or taking time to understand those illnesses. Every time a child or person is acting up it’s a demon.
Depression takes over your whole life… if you let it!
Without talking to a therapist, or counselor, your health is basically going undone. Yes, undone. In order to actually heal, in order to feel better, and in order to get your life back together, you need to talk to someone. Whether it’s your family doctor or counselor, you need to get the help that you need, the medications that you need so that you can get your life back on the right track. There’s nothing wrong with needing help. There’s nothing wrong with getting help. You are all so very strong. Look at it like this, you getting help just shows that you care about your health and that you care about your life.
I still struggle but, as the days go by it gets better and better.
As long as you are doing your part by taking your meds daily, going to the doctor, and keeping up with your appointments, everything will start to fall right in place. Just take it day by day, step by step, face depression, and I promise you’ll ace that depression. But you got to get help. You can’t do it all by yourself. Don’t worry about what people are going to say, people talked about Jesus Christ. You know what you’re facing on a daily. You know the feelings and emotions that you have been facing. You know the aches and the pain you feel in your body on a daily. You know the anxiety that comes right behind it. You know how those days you have no appetite. You don’t feel like eating or drinking anything. You’re just so depressed and stressed. But you don’t have to feel like that. There is help. There are medications that actually do help. There are people who actually do care, and are willing to give you the help that you need. Please get the help, and please don’t try to get through this all by yourself.
At one point I thought that I could get over this on my own. I thought I could in fact, get better own my own. But I was so wrong! Things got worser, and I thought I was going to lose my mind. And as the time went by, I wasn’t eating, I wasn’t sleeping as much, I was agitated everyday, the guilt got worse, the feelings got worse, and the emotions got worser! I started losing weight looking like a toothpick lol you could of threw me. (Humor) I had got so tiny, and I already wasn’t a big person so it didn’t take much for my weight to start dropping. I was 97 pounds at one point. I didn’t want to be considered as crazy so I didn’t get the help I really needed. I was ashamed and I was embarrassed about it. So I hid it for awhile.
But deep inside me I knew I needed to talk to someone. I knew what I was feeling wasn’t just nothing, it had to be something wrong. Those feelings and emotions was not going to just get up and run. I had to suck up my pride and put it to the side. I knew that couldn’t be life. So I decided to fight! I decided to fight back and face my depression. I decided to go out and get the help. I decided I was going to get my life back. You only get one life, and you don’t get it back.
Since getting the help, which has been some years ago but I’m still holding on, and I am going to continue to fight back and to keep pushing. I’m going to remain strong, and know this too will pass on.
I realized any problems that I may have, God is greater than them all. So I decided that I’m going to keep the faith, keep hoping, keep praying and believing, remain humble, remain focus, remain dedicated, remain confident, to win this fight! So I expect you to continue to fight. I’m going to keep blogging to somebody hear me. Mental illnesses are serious!
You got this battle too! Don’t give up, because you to are strong. And you are not alone.
Remember to get out and get the help that you need. Set your mind free. You can’t help you were made differently, but you can help the way your mind thinks constantly. Face Depression!
Know that you are somebody, you are beautiful, you are strong, and that you are worth it. You are worth the fight! You’re going to win this fight!
Keep fighting and keep pushing!