To anybody struggling with a mental illness, and you feel ashamed… I want you to know that you are not alone. You are not the only person struggling with a mental illness disorder and you can heal. You don’t have to feel guilty, constant embarrassment, constant worrying, or constant anxiety and so many more thoughts and feelings that sneaks up on you without any warning.
You have no reason to be ashamed because you’re not the only… you have no reason to be embarrassed because everyone needs help at sometime, or some point, in there life.
There’s different treatments that helps with those dark feelings, there’s therapy that’ll help you with healing, there’s medications that’ll help you feel like yourself again.
It’ll be astonishing. For you. I promise.
The negative stigma about people with mental illnesses, comes from people who have no knowledge about it. It comes from people who haven’t had not one experience. Know that those people… their words… is just plain ignorance. It makes no sense. The stigma sucks if you ask me.
Because they know nothing about your feelings, or what you’re going through. Only you know. I want you all to know you are somebody! You are strong! I want you all to know, not to ever give up! You can, and will win this fight of darkness.
Depression, bipolar, anxiety, major depressive disorder, clinical depression, and all other mental illnesses… are serious!! They’re real and serious, and just as severe, as any other illness.
It’s okay to understand, and not to understand the chaos in your head is yours alone, that no matter how much therapy you get, and how many times your friends and family tell you it’s going to be ok their are things—thoughts, memories, images, feelings— that can’t be vocalized.
You are the only one that knows how you feel. Only you know how it felt when you wanted to end it all. Just as well as I’m the only person that knows how those feelings and emotions of ‘depression’ feels myself… but it is okay.
It’s okay if you have bipolar disorder. It’s okay if you struggle with depression. It’s okay if you struggle with anxiety attacks. It’s okay!! As humans we tend to idolize happiness… whatever that even is. And in the progress, we ultimately demonize it’s perceived antithesis. We really do fear it. And most times as a result, we shy away or we fall silent. It’s so many ways it’s in our nature. To compete and to prove to other people that we’re doing well, happy and that we’re successful. It’s the illusion, growing by things like social media, the dilemma of the multidimensional gone flat.
Sometimes you feel weak because you can’t be “happy” in the way society demands. We sometimes hate ourself for our inability to just be ‘okay’ and we feel as if we’re weak.
But you are not.
Most times, though you can’t help it, you feel so embarrassed because you just can’t seem to get it all together. You can’t be happy how you should be. Than…
There’s always that one person who comes to you and ask the question you most resent, while trying to understand, “why are you so depressed?” And it’s really not that simple. We don’t know the answer, I don’t know the answer. Asking that question is like asking someone with Lupus why are they sick, or why do they get treatment.
The way I see it… there’s a clear distinction between sadness and depression as a clinical condition. It’s really our failure to recognize that distinction in the midst of our happiness- oriented culture that leads so many of us who struggle with depression to hide it not only from our friends and family, but to deny it’s reality in our own lives. We have no intention of belittling the pain of sadness, but merely want to distinguish it, a very human emotion, from depression, an illness. Calling it an illness is no way an excuse;?yet it doesn’t mean we can’t do nothing for ourselves, or to help ourselves, but rather the opposite.
It’s okay though, there is hope. There is treatment. there is therapy, and medication and their is life beyond the blur. We are not victims, and we’re not sufferers. We are humans, people with our challenges, fighting our battle right alongside everyone else.
I was the sort of person who seemed to have it all together. I didn’t have to many friends, but maybe 2. But they’re good trustworthy friends. We grew up together since the age of eight.
But… okay so… like I was saying, I was the sort of person who seemed to have it all together. I have 2 good friends, going to school making good grades, and I have a great job, and a wonderful son I adore and love. Everything told me I should be happy, like I’m on the road to success, I got this.
Believe me, you’re not alone. I know the feeling.
Everything telling you that you should be “happy” and you’re on the road to “success.” But perhaps your largest talent doesn’t appear on any line or you’re resume. I am a great actress. Always wanted to act. It’s my biggest dream. Over the years I’ve perfected the art of being okay. Behind the smiles, the laughs, are anxiety attacks, to many to even count. Long nights wrestling with gut-wrenching pain; masked good with a smile. The long nights of no sleep, a pain so deep destructive and very unshakable it passes all feeling.
No one knowing what I’m going threw. I liked it like that, and was proud like it made me strong or something. Like it made my depression less real. But my affectation began to crumble, before you know it… everything I once loved, slowly went down the hole. School wasn’t a priority anymore, I started skipping class more and more. I couldn’t focus, and I couldn’t focus to even study.
Everything I had good going on, especially jobs, I started calling in from work. I started to see my world really crumbling down where I was happy, where I was okay, I realized it was being overtaken by the reality of my depression and anxiety.
This alternate universe who’s existence, I, preferred to ignore. I could barely eat or sleep. Mainly eat, because I hardly ever had an appetite. I loss so much weight, my doctor started to get worried. I felt so trapped and so alone, that my foggy foggy brain could think of no alternate to a split second free fall.
Not saying I have it all together… But I’m making it. Fighting it. And not giving up. Getting the help, the treatment, that I needed I’ve gotten through so many more difficult situations. Which is obvious because I’m sitting on here writing this. And you can too!
I had to realize that hiding my major depression and anxiety, running from it, and pretending that it doesn’t exist, is like I’m contributing to the negative stigma against mental illness. Like I was prejudiced against my own self. By keeping quiet, silent I was affirming that somehow my depression and anxiety is not okay. Ever thought about it this way?
Sometimes you feel unbearably trapped, you feel to much pain to keep pretending, you sometimes feel like giving up. It feels like the walls are crumbling in on you, and you couldn’t push them back up. But you’re so determined not to let anyone know. You’re afraid of being labeled as weak, psychotic, or crazy. That fear can become very crippling.
But through the years, I’ve realized that staying silent, is like I was playing right along with a culture that can actually be threatening to us who battle mental illness. Depression and anxiety does not define me. Just like your mental illness does not define you.
You got this! You can beat this.
Your “mental illness” does not define you!! Know that it’s okay if you need treatment, it’s okay to ask for help, or to need help, because there is plenty.
Know and understand that your mental illness is apart of you, and always remember that that’s okay.
Don’t let the stigma about mental illness stop you from getting the HELP that you need. Don’t let the stigma stop you from getting the TREATMENT you need, because getting the help and treatment you need it can really help you feel a lot better, help you focus and it’ll also help you to realize that there is hope.
There are many ways to help you cope. Don’t ever lose hope, you’re strong and you’re worth so much to this world.
You mean so much to me also, because I to know the feeling of being diagnosed with a mental illness, I know how it feels to feel worthless, I know how it feels to have no kind of support system to cope with your mental illness, I know how it feels to not want be labeled as ‘crazy’ I know how it feels to not want be considered as a ‘mental patient.’ I know all about it. I’ve been through it all.
But let’s make it about you, you are you and you know you, you know how you feel… Let’s be real, and let’s be very clear…!! You know your everyday life, you know the emotions and feelings you feel that just won’t go away, you know the aches and pains you feel constantly from depression, or any other, you know those feelings and emotions, constant worrying, constant thoughts, and bad memories that your mind won’t get rid of. You know the anxiety you feel everyday, and most days you never have an appetite. Feeling lost and confused because you can’t seem to get it right. Everyday is a sleepless night. Only you know the anxiety you feel on a daily basis… and no days of anxiety wouldn’t even seem right.
Only you know about those feelings that you’re experiencing, no one can be the judge of that. They’re not you, so they can’t say what you’re going through! Are they you? Okay. Make it about you. It’s about you. Your health, is your priority.
Not eating, and not getting enough sleep isn’t healthy. Going through it alone with no support system, I know, it’s devastating! It’s tiring! Not wanting to be labeled as ‘crazy’ from society, from people, I know the feeling. But when it’s about your health, the ignorance(the stigma) can be dealt with by you getting the help, and the treatment that you need, and educating the world, the people, on mental illnesses.
Don’t focus on the negativity on mental illness, focus on yourself and your health. That’s all that matters. Your mental health matters. Your health matters. You matter! And you are not alone.
You’ll be a great example… just like me… to others by showing and educating them on mental illness, while also showing people that those (us) with a mental illness can live healthy lives. You’ll be showing the world that you’re strong and you can admit when/if you need help. And that there’s nothing wrong with needing help, or needing medications daily to help. It’s okay. You got this. You can and will continue to fight this.
It’s time for a change…!!! Don’t be silenced about it. You are not alone. You mean so much more than what your mind tells you. You mean so much more than those feelings. It’s all okay though. Those thoughts and feelings can be treated. And that’s okay too. Get the help, get the treatment you need beautiful people.