Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. Tell That Depression Not Today!!

Good Afternoon Everyone And Happy Thanksgiving To Each And Everyone Of You!! ๐Ÿฆƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ˜‰ Today Is About Thanks! Give Thanks To God For It All! Give Thanks For Him Waking You And Starting You On Your Way Or Your Day! Give Thanks For Your Child Or Children’s Health! Give Thanks Cause Someone Is Struggling Somewhere Else Living On The Streets And You Have a Place To Sleep! Give God Thanks For Life Cause Someone Just Lost Their Life And You Are Still Here. Gratitude Is The Key To Happiness. Tell That Depression You Aren’t Getting In My Way! Not Today! I’m Thankful For Everything The Good The Bad And The Ugly! It Has All Taught Me Well. I Have Learned Good And Bad Lessons But I’ve Learned From It All And It All Has Made Me Strong. I Thank God For Everything…. My Family The Few Friends That I Have But Most Importantly My Son!! Without Him Life Wouldn’t Be Life! He Is The Reason I Keep Pushing And Will Never Give Up! I Woke Up In Good Spirit And You Know What? I’m Keeping It This Way Because I Have A lot To Be Thankful For And So Do You. So Smile You Are Not As Terrible As You Think You Are ๐Ÿ˜ƒ Tell Them Emotions/Feelings Not Today! It’s Thanksgiving And You Are Not Getting In My Way! If You Are Truly Thankful You Are Gonna Be Happy No Doubt About It. I Mean Yes We Might Have Rent Or Mortgage To Pay But Aye Be Thankful That You Have. A Roof Over Your Head. There’s People On The Street Wishing They Had A Place To Lay There Heads. There’s Someone Out There Cold And Hungry And You Home With A Feast Right In Front You. Nowadays We So Used To Saying “Thank You” To Where Most Times You Don’t Even Mean It It’s Just Apart Of Being Polite ๐Ÿค” If A Person Took Time Out To Just Give You A Ride And You Just Say “Thanks” Like Think About If That Person Didn’t Bring you. Would You Have Gotten To Pay That Bill Or Made Groceries? No! You Have To Really Think Like That Because That Person Didn’t Have To Do That. That’s Time Taken From Their Day All For You! Be Thankful And Mean It! If You Just Sitting Home Feeling Down! Look Around… You Are A Live And Breathing Right? Be Thankful To God For Waking U Up To See Another Day Another Thanksgiving ๐Ÿฆƒ๐Ÿ๐Ÿฝโœ… Because Someone Took Their Last Breathe You Have To At Least Be Thankful For That. I Loss My Close Cousin And Really Wish She Was Here But God Had Other Plans… If I Can Be Thankful So Can You. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜˜ HAPPY THANKSGIVING Again To Each And Every One Of You! I’m Going Sit And Enjoy My Family! My Son Is Out Of Town With His Daddy But We Just Talked And He Said Happy Thanksgiving Ma I Love You!! He Made My Day I Can’t Help But To Be Thankful.

If He/She Loves You He/She Wonโ€™t Hurt You Or Cheat On You

Good Morning Everyone. I Wanna Talk About Relationships This Morning. If A Woman And Man Love Each Other They Wouldn’t Hurt Each Other. If A Man Is Out Here Cheating It’s Because He Don’t Respect You And The Same For A Woman! Yes, Everybody Is Human And No One Is Perfect But If You Truly Love And Respect Someone It Would Kill You Inside You Couldn’t Do It. It Is Possible To Love Or Even Care For A Person You Betray But Not Enough. You Can Obviously Have Feelings For That Person Yes Because You Are Both In A Relationship after All. But If You Truly Love A Person With All Your Heart And Soul There Will Not Be No One Else In The Picture. Other Men Or Women Wouldn’t Even Exist. If You Out Here Messing with This One And That One You Don’t Care About Your Relationship At All Or Even Value It. You May Feel That Love But It Isn’t Strong Enough. Because If So Your Heart Wouldn’t Allow You To Cheat On Your Woman/Man. Yes I Believe That You Can Love A Person And Cheat But That Shows That The Love Isn’t Burning Brightly It Isn’t Real Real Love. Throughout My Whole Life I’ve Dated About 5 Guys And I Have Been Cheated On. Which At That Time I Was About 20 Or 21 And The Man Had My Mind Gone Y’all Hahaha. You Couldn’t Tell Me Nothing About Him! I Truly Loved Him And Was Faithful To Him The Whole Time Because Once I Love, I Love Hard And I Don’t Want Nobody Else.! I Never Been The Type To Go From This Man To That Man. Never! I Just Wouldn’t Feel Right. I’m Not That Type Of Woman Once You Got Me You Got Me. Anyways, You Couldn’t Tell Me Nothing About Him I Had People Telling Me Things About Him Cheating And I Didn’t Wanna Hear It At All. He Cheated On Me And Would Lie About It. I Mean Hey… He Made Sure I Was Straight On Money Made Sure My Hair Was Done Nails And Toes Was Done But Deep Down I Was Hurt And I Kept Asking Myself “Why Are You Putting Up With This?” We Was Together For Years You Hear Me Longer Than 5yrs.! After A While I Got Tired Of Dealing With That. I Love Myself To Much And I Knew I Was Worth So Much More Than That. Most People Think If Your Bf/Gf Lie About Cheating It’s Because They Don’t Want To You… It Might Be True But Once You Go Out There And Cheat You Already Saying F*** Your Relationship And Her Or Him!!! That’s Hurt To Start Off! And Not To Mention You All In The Public So That Really Shows You don’t Care At All. I Told Him I Don’t Want To See Or Talk To Him Ever Again And That He Gone Miss Me When I’m Gone And It’s Years Later And He Stalking, Calling, Texting And Even Crying!! No Lie And I Promise You I’ll Never Go Back! Every Time He Text Or call I Ignore Him. I Learned That If Someone Loves You They Not Gonna Hurt You! If he Loved Me, We Would’ve Still Been Together Probably Married because besides the Cheating And Lies We Was Like Bonnie and Clyde. To Make This Shorter, All I’m Saying Is… If You Love Someone Truly And With All Your Heart You Wouldn’t Do Anything To Mess That Up! Get Out That Relationship And Wait Until God Send You The Man/ Woman He Knows You Deserve Don’t Settle For Just Anything. Nobody’s Perfect And Yes We Are All Humans But I Know For A Fact If You Honestly And Truly Love Someone You Wouldn’t Put Yourself In A Position Of Losing Them.

THE END ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฏโ€ผ๏ธ

My Depression Donโ€™t Define Me

I Have Always Asked Myself Should I Speak Up About My Depression. Would Other’s Even Care Or Even Be There?! Like Family And The Few Friends I Have. Will They Actually Be There Or Will I Hear The Same Stupid Responses I Have Heard Since I’ve Been Diagnosed Which Was At The Age Of 17. Like “Let It Go” Or “You Gotta Get Over That” Or “Why You Even Depressed! Some Even Said “Man Up” In So Many Words. I Guess It Was Cause They Had Their Own Life Issues To Handle Huh?! I Have Always Struggled With My Mental Health. For A Long Time And By Myself. At First I Was Skeptical About Telling Friends And Family About What I’m Dealing With Because No One Cares Anyway. I Suffer With Insomnia And That Brought On Anxiety. Than After A While It Manifested To Worrying! Worrying A lot! After Awhile The Worrying Got Serious; “Do I Deserve To Be Loved” Or “Why Am I Here” Or Even “Am I Gonna Die In My Sleep?” I Have Always Dealt With Self Doubt For A Long Time And Still Dealing With It. It Really Got The Best Of Me, I Was A Angry Teenager And Always Mean. Every Now And Than I Find Myself Still That Way. I Hardly Had Friends And Still Don’t And I Am Very Cool With That. Because Of My Depression It Causes Me To Have These Different Moods And Feelings Me And Friends Don’t Work Out Anyways. I Never Thought I Would Be Battling With Depression. I Have Always Been Strong Willed And Can Handle Anything. I Am Still That Person. My Depression Don’t Define Me As A Person. I Use To Hide It And I Used To Be Ashamed. Not Anymore! I Have Learned To Accept It. Back Than, When I First Found Out I Had Major Depression People Used To Ask If I Was Ok And I Would Say Yes. Knowing Deep Down I Was Struggling And Wasn’t Okay. Now, I Am Not Ashamed. I Ain’t The First And Won’t Be The Last To Suffer From Depression. A Few Years Ago Is When I Started Being Open About It. It Took Me Awhile To Start Being Open About It And Not Ashamed. Never Know Who I Can Help. And Talking About It Kind Of Help. When You Say You Have Depression Most People Think That Mean Your Weak But The One’s Who Think That Is Just Ignorant. Cause Like I Said Depression Doesn’t Define Who You Are As A Person. Some People Just Negative But I Won’t /Wouldn’t Let That Get To Me. Some People Just Won’t Understand. It Is How You Handle Your Depression Don’t Let It Handle You. Some Feel As If You Suffer From Depression Or Any Mental Illness That The Person Is Crazy, Weak, Weak minded, And A Psycho. Believe Me There’s More. It’s Sad Because People Have Feelings No Matter What Mental Illness They Have. I Know I’m Not Ashamed And I Am Speaking Up About It I Don’t Care About What Nobody Gonna Think About Me. My Depression Doesn’t Define Me But Is Apart Of Me. I At Times Talk To My Depression As If It’s A Person. It Visits Me And I Never Know How Long It Might Stay We Battle Constantly And Argue On Who Will Prevail And That Gets Tiring And Aggravating. Honestly It Is About How You Handle Your Depression/Mental Illness. Yes, When You Are Depressed It Has You Wanting To Do Nothing It Has Your Whole Body Aching, You Never Want To Get Out Of Bed, Sometimes You Just Sad For No Reason, Your Brain Constantly Thinking And Your Constantly Worrying You Never Smile, Or Want To Smile But See When I Feel All Them Different Emotions I Pray!! When I Don’t Want To Get Out Of Bed I Still Make Myself Get Up And Move Around And Get Things Done. Even Though Your Depression Maybe Major Or Severe Still Try To Make Yourself Get Up! Don’t Let It Take Over You Take Over It! At Times It Can Be Hard And Seem Hard But You Can Do It. You Have To Always Remember Those Are Feelings They Are Not Facts At All. That’s Why I said My Depression Doesn’t Define Me And Yours Doesn’t Have To Define You. Pray And Don’t Let It Get You Down Continue Doing What You Have To Do For You And Your Depression. And I Will Do The Same. Try When Your Feeling Down To Distract Your Thoughts Or Do House Chores To Keep Busy. That’s What I Do Or I Just Sit And Write Write Write. I Know Most Times The Feelings Seem Unbearable Believe Me I Know. I Deal With It Everyday Just About Some Days I Am Fine And Some Days I Just Feeling Like Crying But I Never And Will Never Let It Take Over Me. I Have My Son To Live For And He’s Looking Up To Me And Giving Up Is Not In Our Blood. I Refuse To Let My Depression Define Me And It Doesn’t. I’ve Heard A lot Of People Say That Their Depression Does Define Them Because It’s Apart Of Them. Not In My Book Though It Does Not Define Me And It Doesn’t Have To Define You.

Feeling Alone/ Losing A Close Loved One

It’s Sad To Say That Some People Don’t Believe Depression Is Real. They Think It’s Made up Or Some Kind Of Game. I Wish It Wasn’t Real Than I Wouldn’t Be Struggling With Depression Everyday. I Just Wanna Run Away And Never Look Like Back. I Know I Can’t Run From My Depression Just My Environment. They Don’t Care Nor Understand What I’m Dealing With And It’s Sad To Say It Be Your Family. Those Are The Ones You Would Think Would Be There. But I Don’t Have That. So, Now that My Cousin Is Dead And Gone I Have No One But Myself. I Really Hate That She Left Me Here All Alone. Nowadays Friends Aren’t Friends They Not Loyal. I Rather Chill By Myself. Always Have Actually It’s The Ones I’ve Been Knowing. I’m Not Sure If Losing My Cousin Have Me Even More Depressed Feeling Like My Medication Isn’t Working Anymore Or What. I Don’t Let My Son See Me Sad But It’s Hard. I Know I Can Beat This Depression And Not Let It Take Over Me. Well, I’m Trying My Hardest Not Too. These Different Emotions Omg. Than, When Someone Say “You Gotta Let That Go” Really Like Depression Can Be Let Go Like As If It’s Something You DON’T Like You Can Get Rid Of It Like That. Or If You Tired Of Being Depressed You Can Just Walk Away From It. This Isn’t Something You Can Just Deal With On Your Own. Especially If It Worsens!! You Have To Seek Help. This Is Why I Rather Just Be By Myself Cause Some People Just Don’t And Won’t Understand At All. I’m Really Thinking about Writing A Book On Depression In My Eyes And My Experience With It Everyday. Even Though There Will still Be Some That Just Won’t Get It. Sometimes, Well Most Times I Just Sit In The Dark And Just Lay Down Or Just Sit Outside Because Where I Live Is Stress By Itself. All I Can Do Is Keep Praying That My Situation Get Better. I Hide All This From My Son. I Never Want Him To See Me Sad, Crying, Confused, Happy, Than Sad. I Smile And pretend I’m Okay When He’s Around. But When He’s Gone I’m All Alone With Nobody To Talk Too. As A Mother I Have To Keep Pushing And Don’t Fold. Every Night( As Well As During The Day) I fight These Emotions, These Feelings I Can’t Shake Forever And It Gets Aggravating. Most Of The Time I Try To Do Something To Not Even Think About It. One Minute I Can Be So So Happy Than morning I So So Sad. When Your Own Family Can’t Notice You Don’t Even Like To Do What You Once Loved Or See The Difference In My Eating Or Just Me Being Sad Sometimes Moody, Just Sitting In The Dark Can Have A Room Full Of People And I’m Just Sad And Sitting To Myself And They Just Think…. “Oh You Gotta Let That Go You Have A Son.” Like Really??! I Can’t Stand That Omg!! That’s Why I Just Do What I Have To Do For My Son And I. And Don’t Talk Nobody To Nobody. The Main One I Trust Is gone She Died. The One That Understood Me. The One That Was Good To Me. The One I Could Call On In The Middle Of The Night. The One I Could Call On When I’m Not Feeling Right. The One That Would Tell Me Cuz It’s Gonna Be Alright Cause We Gonna When This Fight. The One That Made Me Smile Knowing I Was Feeling Down. And It’ll Be The Other Way Around. I Will Miss You But I Know I Will Get Through. I Know I will See You Again So Until Than… Keep Resting In Peace.

Living With Depression Day By Day

Hello Everyone! First off I would Like To Say Good Evening To Everyone. I Hope Everyone Is Having A Great Day. I Know It’s Been Awhile Since I’ve Been On Here But I Had To Have A Little Me Time. Living With Depression Is Really Rough At Times. Some Days You Ok And Some Days You Just Don’t Feel Like Being Bothered Or Just Wanna Just Be In Bed All Day. One Minute You Happy And One Minute You Sad. It’s Crazy Because It’s Something You Have To Deal With. You Can Take Your Meds But Some Symptoms Just Don’t Go All The Way Away.! I Deal With Major Depression And I Am Not Ashamed At All. Day By Day I Try My Best To Fight It Because I Am A Mother Of A Soon To Be 9Yr Old. I Pray To God My Son Does Not Have To Deal With Depression. I Don’t Wish It On Nobody Because If You Not Strong, Depression Can Take Over You! I Loss Someone Very Close To Me From Depression! Thinking You Can Handle It Yourself Is A No No. Nothing Is Wrong With Getting Help At All. Nothing Is Wrong With Having To Take Medication. There’s A lot Of People Out Here Suffering With Depression Thinking It’ll Go Away Or Ashamed To Get Help. You Don’t Have To Be Ashamed There’s A lot Of People Dealing With Depression On A Daily And There’s Medication That Do Help Out. When I Loss My Cousin To Depression It Took Me To A Dark Dark Place. A Dark Place I Felt I Couldn’t Get Out. I Had Just Talked To My Cousin The Night Before And To Hear That Next Morning From Our Family Members That They Found Her Dead OMG!! That Took The Life Out Of Me That I Did Have. I Already Deal With This Depression And To Hear That And We Was Close Broke Me Down!! She Told Me She Loved Me And I Told Her I Love You too Cousin. Never Thought That Would Be Our Last Talk! It Took A Few Months For Me To Get Myself Together. Everyday I Went To Her Grave. Everyday I Called Her Phone. I Prayed I Prayed Like No No! Don’t Go Cousin I Need You Here With Me. She Gone She Left Me Here Alone. I’m Crying Typing. I Really Miss Her. It’s So Hard. It’s Only Been 5 Months. She Was Only 33. And Her Bday Was Like 4 Days After she died. I Will Beat This Depression I Won’t Let It Beat Me. I’m Doing This For Her And My Son! I’m Not Giving Up I Can’t. She Was The Only Person Who Understood Me Period! She Was The Only Person I Had To Talk Too. But I Prayed And Prayed And Ask God To Give Me Strength To Get Through. You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through. Everyday Is A Battle For Me… But Everyday I Learn To Deal With It. Check On Your Family Members At All Times Even If It’s Just A Text. Check On Them. I Talked To My Cousin Everyday And She Had To Battle With This Depression Herself But I Didn’t Expect To Lose Her. My Depression Has Been Crazy Since She Left. I Backed Off From The Few Little Friends I Did Have. I Just Been Doing What I Have To Do As A Mother. Some People Just Don’t Understand. If You Don’t Deal With Depression You Won’t Understand. I Will Over Power This Depression. I Am Not Letting My Depression Take Over Me. God Got Everything Under Control And I am A True Believer. I Smile But Deep Inside I Just Wanna Go Hide Forever.

Good Morning! I Know Itโ€™s Been Awhile.

Hello Everyone! I Know It’s Been Awhile Since I Have Posted But It’s Because I Had To Be A Mother First And Also Take Care Of Myself. My Son Is Much Better He Has A Appointment Tomorrow With His Primary Care Physician. They Prescribed Him Steroids In The Emergency Room. They Asked If He Had Asthma But I Told Them He Had No History Of It And That At The Age Of 4 I Got Him Checked For Asthma But They Said He Was Too Young Or Something Like That The Dr Told Me. Idk! I Will See What His Doctor Say Tomorrow. Me, I’m Okay I Guess. What About You Guy’s? I Have Been Driving Myself To Headaches Just Over Thinking Everything. I Already Don’t Get Much Sleep. Plus, What Happened With My Son The Other Day. That Was Scary For Me. He’s My Miracle Baby. I Will Not Let Anything Happened To Him. Life Wouldn’t Be Life Without My Muscle Man. He Is Very Strong. He’s Been Through So Much Already Since He Was Born So That Kind Of Had Me Depressed And Scared. Over Thinking It. Right Now I’m Laying Down Trying To Avoid A Headache. I Took 2 Excedrin For Migraine That Usually Helps. I’m Thinking Positive Even Though My Mind Not Trying Too. I Will Not Let My Depression Get The Best Of Me. I Can’t! I Will Continue To Take My Medicine And Keep Pushing Myself. How Many Of You Suffer With Depression And Sometimes Emotions Just Overwhelmed You? Like It’s Emotions You Can’t Help? Everytime I Get Like That I’ll Just Write. I Actually Love To Write I Just Stopped For So Long. I had To Get Myself Together I Was Letting My Depression Get To Me. I Was Diagnosed With Major Depression. When I Get To Depressed I Do Have A counselor I Can Talk Too. It’s Just The Opening Up Part. Telling Others What’s Going On With Me Is Hard. I Don’t Like To Feel Like I’m Putting My Problems On Someone Else. Which I Also Know It Isn’t Good To Keep Everything Bottled Up. Maybe Sooner Or Later I Can Open Up Honestly. My Emotions Sometimes Take Over But Most Times I Distract It By Reading Or Writing Or I Even Listen To Music. When You Are Depressed What Are Something’s You Do To Distract Those Emotions? Like Right Now My Son Is At School And I’m Just Laying Down Watching A Movie. Before Watching The Movie I Was Sad And About To Give Myself A Headache. I Have Friends Who Think It’s So Easy To Just Shake The Feelings And Emotions. I Wish It Was Like That, I Wish It Was That Easy. If You Haven’t Experienced It Don’t Say Nothing! I Have Had Some Much Going On And So Much Have Happened But I Will Never Give Up. That Is Not A Option!

Depression Is An Illness Not A Choice

Good Morning Everyone! I Hope You All Are Having A Great Morning. My Morning Is Going Great And I Plan For It To Stay This Way. Yesterday I Mentioned My Son Had Trouble Breathing And I Had To Rush Him To The Hospital. They Had To Give Him 2 Treatments And Steroids. And I Was Told To Follow Up With His Primary Care Dr. He Has No History Of asthma! That Was Scary But He Is Feeling Much Better And Doing Better. I Made His appointment, It Is For Tomorrow Morning. Thanks So Much For Checking On My Son Everyone. I Will Keep You All Updated. Those Who Know Me Know How I Am With My Son. I Loss A little Girl Year’s Before Him And I Couldn’t Handle It If Anything Happened To My JJ. Thank God He’s Okay.

Ok So Just Has The Title Says Depression Is An Illness I Have To Live With. This Is Not By Choice! I Didn’t Make Myself Depressed. I Don’t Want To Be Depressed. I Didn’t Make Myself Depressed. Depression Isn’t Something I Chose Or Would Choose. Who Would Want Mixed Feelings Or Happy One Minute And Sad Maybe 20 Minutes Later?! Who Wouldn’t Want To Get Up In The Morning Especially On A Beautiful Day? Who Would Want To Just Cry For No Reason?! Like Really? You Know There’s Some People That Think You Have A Choice To Be Depressed?! I Really Wish I Could “Snap Out Of It” But It Doesn’t Work That Way. That’s Why If You Haven’t Experienced It Before You Won’t Understand. Honestly, No One Would Choose This. I Don’t Wish This Upon No One. Can You Believe That There’s Some People That Think You Chose To Be Depressed?! They Just Don’t Understand That It Is Not A Decision We (I) Made!! That’s Just Stupid. But Hey Your Going To Run Into Some People That Don’t Believe In Depression, anxiety, Or Bipolar And Many Other Mental Illnesses Because They Haven’t Experienced Any Of Them. They Don’t Know What You Are Going Through. Through It All, I Continue To Pray And Ask God To Help Me Take Control And Day By Day I Noticed I Am Taking Over My Depression I’m Not Letting It Take Over Me. Letting Go And Letting God!!

I Know God Got Me. I Pray Everyday. I Pray Even More When I’m Depressed. I Pray On My Good Days And I Pray On My Bad Days. Some Nights I Can’t Even Get To Sleep Because Of My Mind Just Wandering All Over The Place And Won’t Stop. I sit And Talk To God. He’s My Friend. He’s My counselor. I Believe He Has Me Here For Reason. Even When I Feel Like Nothing I Know God Got Me Here To Be Something.

Hello I’m Back Guys!!

Good Morning Everyone, Sorry I Haven’t Been On But My Son Had Trouble Breathing And Was In The Hospital. That Was So Scary! Also It Triggered My Depression. I Felt Like Why Am I Blogging? I’m Not Giving Up Though. You Never Know Who I Came Help Just By Reading My Situations And Experiences. I’m Getting Ready Now For My Appointment At Behavior Health In About 20 Minutes. I Always Wait Until It’s Really Close To Make A Move And Get Dressed. I Was So Close to Cancelling It, That’s Just How I Get. I Don’t Feel Like Going And I Already Feel Drained!! Have You Ever Been Do Tired And Sad Your In A Place Full Of People And Still Feel Empty, Lost, And Lonely? It’s Like Your There But Your Not? I Feel Like That Today. I’m Just So Tired Of These Mixed Feelings! Ok Guy’s I’m Headed To My Appointment And I Will Talk To You Guy’s After.

Have You Ever Wondered Why?!

Sometimes’ I Just Wonder Why? Why Must My Mind Wonder. Why Must My Brain Go Insane? Why Do I Have To Feel This Way? This Isn’t Okay. I Feel This Way Just About Everyday. I Still Try To Smile, Even When I’m Feeling Down. It’s Like My Brain My Enemy, It Doesn’t Want Me To Do Anything. Why Must I Feel This Way, This Is Not Okay! #Depression #MentalHealth #Life p.s Good Morning Everyone. I Pray You All Have A Good Day.



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