Everyday Battles Of Depression Poem By Me Expressive Jackie

Everyday is a battle.

It is the most darkest place one could face alone,

A journey filled with struggles solo, all alone.

Everyday filled with many groans,

Everyday is a new battle,

Against the same competitor.

Yet the enemy exchanges blows back with irrational roars.

It sneaks up on you in your most helpless shape,

Mostly when there’s no around who can communicate.

The thoughts in your brain begins to expand and distend,

Which drags you into your private repressed nightmare.

Fabrications and organism from your past

Served as pain, that you can’t withstand.

Lastly sleep always comes as a greeting friend,

Knowing the next morning the continual battle begins yes, yet again.

Never Ends!!

This poem is about the daily struggle with self image, feeling like you’re not good enough for yourself or nobody else. It’s a daily battle of trying to feel accepted, and also, the struggle of learning to love yourself.

In order to love someone else, you have to first start by loving yourself.

Everyday, there is a battle to face. But don’t give up, life is to short, put a smile on your face, and take control over those battles you face, everyday.

Do you like my poem you just read? Feel free to like, comment, and share. Let’s stop the stigma of mental illnesses that’s flying around in the air. If you care, share!!

Good morning to all of my followers, and readers. Thanks for taking time out of your day to read what i have to say. I hope and i pray, that today, each and everyone of you, has a blessed day.

Trapped In Depression Poem By Me, Expressive Jackie

Trapped In Depression Poem By Me, Expressive Jackie

— Read on jackies.life/2019/02/03/trapped-in-depression-poem-by-me-expressive-jackie/

#depression #depressionisreal #dontgiveup #nevergiveup #alwayspray #pray #poem #poems #depressionpoem #lostpoems #life #realityofdepression #keepfighting

Feelings About The Stigma Of Mental Illnesses

Feelings About The Stigma Of Mental Illnesses

— Read on jackies.life/2019/02/02/feelings-about-the-stigma-of-mental-illnesses/

Feelings About The Stigma Of Mental Illnesses

I hate the stigma of mental health.

Most people think that you’re faking it, like it’s all in your head, or saying you’re just lazy, or maybe even think that you’re crazy.

Why would i make all of this up? I’m not crazy. I can’t help it i can’t just make up all of these thoughts. Do you think i get up everyday wanting to be distraught? Some people are nuts.

Everyday is hard, everyday is rough, but i still push myself because i can’t, and i won’t give up. Having all these feelings, and having all these thoughts, and the people around me feels, “i just need to suck it up.”

I know right? That is messed up!

Like we all, just wake up everyday determined, to prepare all this stuff, the different thoughts, the feelings of wanting to give up, the feelings of guilt, and the feelings like everything is your fault. Major depression and anxiety, is already hard as it is, and every time i turn around people are talking negative, like mental illnesses isn’t real. Like it’s all in your head, like you can control how you feel.

Depression is nothing but darkness as it is, and family/people not believing that your really ill, not believing depression is actually real or even severe. Like i asked for all this, like i wanted this type of atmosphere. Always feeling guilty and always feeling hopeless, nobody cares and nobody ever notices. Everyday, i get on my knees and i pray. Praying and hoping, that people will understand one day.

Understand that, we’re all still humans, understand that it can even happen to you. Understand that we don’t like, and we didn’t choose, the feelings, and the emotions, mental illnesses brings us through. Understand, we’re not crazy, and we’re not insane, the only difference is, our brains just overthinks. Depression (all mental illnesses) is real, it’s definitely not fake, depression can hit you, you, you, or you any day.

Depression, and any other mental illness, can happen to anybody.

Please!! Wake up and understand.

Depression, anxiety, bipolar, panic disorder, and any other mental illness, does not discriminate. Some people think that it can’t happen to them, but believe me, it can happen to you too.

If you, or someone you know struggling with a mental illness, get help. Nothing is wrong with asking for help, i can vouch for that. I was ashamed to say i needed help, i was ashamed to say how i was feeling, i was ashamed to explain those thoughts that was in my brain, because i thought people would call me crazy, or even insane. But asking for help does not mean you’re weak or defective, depression is really an illness caused by a biochemical imbalance in the brain. You’re a very strong person because, it takes a great deal of strength to fight back, and you’re doing just that. You aren’t weak, everybody needs some kind of help, with something in some way in their lives, and everybody needs somebody, it might not be now, but as time goes by. It’s apart of life.

Do You Agree??


To my beautiful followers, i want to thank each and everyone of you, for taking time out of your day to read every blog post, and for the comments, and the likes.

Are you tired of the mental health stigma? Are you tired of being called crazy or insane? Are you tired of the negativity about mental illnesses? Are you tired of people saying it’s all in your head? Feel free to like, comment, and share. Let’s talk.

The Reason I Started This Blog

Staring a blog is something that i’ve been wanting to do. But i didn’t go through it. It took me years to actually suck it up, and start a blog. Feelings and emotions/thoughts of depression stopped me from actually pursuing it. At the time, i felt like nobody would even read what i post, or like what i post, or even want to listen to what I had to say. I started this blog at the beginning of August, on the 8th if i’m not mistaking.

You’re probably thinking what made me decide to actually go on and pursue creating a blog this time? Well, I struggle with major depression and anxiety, and some of you know the hell that depression can bring you through. Well, those times of darkness are really hard, sometimes severe, and I know how it feels to be in it alone. No one understands those feelings and emotions that haunt you. No one to talk to and no one to run to. No one who understands what I go through.

I started this blog because some may not know what depression symptoms is, and some may know and think it isn’t real. But it is, and I’m here to tell you that today and everyday. I also started this blog to let others (who suffer with a mental illness) know you are not alone. You are not crazy. You are not weird either. You are human. And don’t let nobody consume you with negativity.

I know and understand how it feels when your mind takes control over your thoughts and misleading every single thought into something very disturbing.

As someone who has been struggling with major depression/mental illness for many years, since i was about 16yrs old, i know how it feels to feel worthless, constantly feeling sad. I know what it feels like when your mind constantly overthinks. Causing yourself to catch a headache, or even worse a migraine. I know how it feels to feel like you’re going to go insane.

But honestly, if you would have asked me about my mental illness about 6 or 7 years ago, I wouldn’t have told you. I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I thought it meant that i was weak. I would have told you that i was ok, or i would have told you i was fine, knowing deep down inside me, i felt like i was dying. For years, i have kept my mental illness hidden, but i do know that i have one. I didn’t tell anyone because i didn’t want anyone to call me “crazy,” or to think I’m “dangerous”, the shame has resulted in me feeling shut out, or like i just don’t fit in with anything or anyone. Making me feel like something is completely wrong with me.

It’s a life long battle. Some days a lot of progress is made but some days it looks hopeless. It doesn’t matter if i’m winning or losing, it’s the fact that i’m still fighting that really matters. My son comes first, he’s the main reason why I get up everyday and fight.

But if you ask me now, i will tell you that I have major depression and anxiety, and it’s okay. In some ways it’s really scary, but at the same time I have accepted that i have a mental illness. I’ll be open about my mental illness because by me talking about my journey with my mental illness, might actually help change the way mental illnesses are judged. Maybe people can try to understand depression and you never know, it might help others, to get through their struggles.

Fighting with your own mind is one of the hardest things you can do. If you think about it, people (us) with mental illnesses are very very strong, the strongest people you will ever meet. Depression is so changeable, depression can actually be frightening but there are times of stillness.

A lot of people use to always say, “You don’t look like you have depression,” or “Why are you depressed? “you have no reason to be.” First of all, how will someone look like they have depression?! Some people just don’t understand.

If someone had died, they’ll understand why you are sad. They’ll accept it. Nobody would question that. But because there’s a lot of us, that don’t have a certain reason or problem, people believe that it’s all made up. Some may think it’s us being ungrateful or even being selfish. But trust me, it’s not at all any of that. (Crazy huh?) I can’t choose how I feel or how I am. I just can’t make myself feel something that isn’t there or something I don’t feel- can any of us? We just don’t have the same emotional undertaking than others.

Can you imagine becoming unreasonable and suspicious for no apparent reason? Can you picture the fear and anxiety of actually having no control over your thoughts/yourself? Having those thoughts and not even knowing where they came from. To actually not know what’s real and what isn’t. Sometimes it’s just sadness. Being so depressed that you can’t even bother to move. Everything is hard. Feeling worthless and pitiful. Everything seems pointless and you just want to stay in bed.

Most times, it just comes out of nowhere. Out of the blue. You don’t want to feel like this, but how can you just ‘snap out of it’? How do you make it go away? Major Depression and Anxiety is exhausting. It’s unreasonable but it’s so severe (so intense) and comes very quick. Like I said, it comes out of the blue. Not getting sleep isn’t good, it doesn’t help, but who can sleep make themselves go to sleep?

Your mind is just all over the place, full to the rim of stuff just going around, and round, really going over everything that has happened and everything that’s been said; ‘Why I didn’t get a text back? Why I didn’t get invited to go eat out? I’m crazy. I’m boring. I have no control over it though. I can’t just ‘snap out of it. Most people tell me: ‘don’t worry’. That it could be coming from a good place.

Can you imagine being really really sick and trying to explain that to a family member/friend, and they respond to you like “you need to grow up, because I be depressed and I’m not like that.” Really?! That’s not going to fix it. That’ll just make it worse, and it’ll cause you to just hide the fact that you’re ill.

When I found out that i had been struggling with major depression and anxiety, I felt so relieved. All that feeling alone, I didn’t feel alone anymore. Me being diagnosed made me realize my mental illness journey had started many years before. I was diagnosed at about age 22, but I realized that my journey had actually started years before being diagnosed. I was suffering with severe sadness, feeling worthless, extreme guilt, I wasn’t eating or sleeping, and that was about everyday.

Not knowing what was wrong with me. But I knew it was something. When I tried to speak about my anxiety attacks and major depression, most people just said “It happens to everybody, “Everyone gets depressed at times”, it’ll go away,” or “Why do you let things bother you?”

I guess it didn’t seem so severe to anyone. No one was worried and no one even cared that i was suffering, so i was suffering alone. I still do sometimes, and i said sometimes because i’m getting better with handling it. But people wonder why and actually hate that i show that ‘I don’t need nobody’ attitude. it’s because when I was at my lowest, when I was in nothing but darkness, nothing but guilt, Nobody was there for me but me, myself, and i. That’s the most important time, the best time to have someone by your side when you just want to cry.

But honestly and truly, i don’t wish this on no one. Having a mental illness is really hard. Heck, it’s the most hardest thing i’ve ever dealt with. No one should be ignored, or pushed to the side when crying out, it’s such a hurting feeling. No one shouldn’t have to go through that, and especially not alone. I still struggle with my depression but if I can help anybody, listen or even just with my posts I’m very grateful/ happy with that.

If you want to help, it really helps having someone trustworthy to talk to. Even if they don’t have the answers. It helps to know that someone actually do care. I honestly believe we all need that tenderness, that concern, and that kindness. You know? That humanity!!

There should be more family members supporting their loved one or whom ever it may be, with their mental illnesses. There should be more communication between patients, family members, and the psychiatrist/clinicians. Get the patients family members involved, clinicians should actually be encouraged to do so.

Why did you create your blog?

Hello everyone, please feel free to leave any comments that you may have below. If it’s something I may have left out, or feelings you feel with your mental illness just comment it below. Also, if you like what you’ve read please like, share, and subscribe.

Lessons Depression Teaches You.

Photo made by me

Are you learning from your problems?

People that are able to learn from their problems, do great in their future, i’ve heard. It doesn’t matter whether you have an episode – Major Depressive Disorder, clinical depression, or anxiety or any other depression or type of anxiety it’s very important to learn a lesson from that problem. Down below are some your depression may be able to teach you.

Hard Work Isn’t More Important Than Sleep.

One aspect of depression is changes in sleep. You might sleep more than you usually do, or you might sleep less. Not getting enough sleep can actually put you at risk to develop or worsen your depression. Chronically getting too little sleep is one risk factor for episodes of depression and bipolar disorder. If you’re losing sleep in order to work more or longer, that loss of sleep may impair your judgement and eventually undermine the progress you are making in your work.

Take Good care of yourself.

Just taking good care of yourself won’t automatically stop depression, but part of the process of recovering from depression is learning to take better care of yourself. Depression teaches you the importance of good preventive self care.

Taking better care of yourself isn’t selfish.

In order to do for others, you have to first take care of yourself. That’s another lesson depression teaches. Taking care of yourself will show you that it’s not the same thing as being selfish. Make taking care of yourself your first priority, to reduce the risks of future episodes of depression.

Things can’t make you happy.

It’s real easy to misstep into the deception of thinking that if you had more, bigger, and a lot prettier things, that that’ll make you happy. Depression does not care what kind of things you have. Depression does not care if you have more stuff. Having depression, teaches you that material things aren’t far more important than relationships and the experiences.

Measure your accomplishments rather than mistakes.

Some people have had many accomplishments. Everyone who tries has some things that don’t work out for them the way it was planned. If you only keep total of your mistakes, you’ll run up a very large total. Looking at only your faults, can be very disappointing. Make sure you always give yourself credit for things you have accomplished. Most likely you have accomplished more things than you are aware of. Depression likes to unclear your view of the positive in life.

Things you tell yourself comes to be true.

Everyone knows that words are very very powerful. Things you tell yourself be liable to come true. Tell yourself you can’t and you won’t be able to. Tell yourself that somehow, some way, you going to find a way to get past this and things are going to get better.

Have you learned anything from your problems?

Sit back and reflect on what your personal problems has taught you. Have your personal problems made you stronger? Or have you just ignored all the lessons/messages that your problems were trying to teach you?

Think about that and if you ignore the messages that your problems/depression tried teaching you, pay attention from now on. Because depression can be a lesson, in disguise. Be wise!

Those are some lessons that depression teaches you from me. If you like it, please like, follow, and feel free to leave any comments that you may have. Thanks to all my followers, you are all amazing 😉 I have plenty more to come. Subscribe subscribe and I hope each and everyone of you has a blessed and great day today. Remember to smile 😀😘

9 Things Mental Illness Has Taught Me About Life.

Photo made by me

At Times when we face different challenges, it’s hard to believe that good or favorable things will actually come out of those times of darkness, but there really is. In life, the most important lessons are in the places you’ll never think to look. Down below, are 9 things my mental illness has taught me about life.

1.) An Legitimate Life Is A Good Life.

Living with a mental illness has taught me the power of legitimacy. An legitimate life is a good life. Hiding the truth from others, is impossible to be pleased. Just breathe, be honest about who you are. Being honest about who you are, not worrying about the opinion of others, is a motive for happiness. Be yourself, because pretending to be someone your not does not prevent pain, it actually intensifies it.

2.) Our Mistakes And Our Struggles Improves Us.

I was about 16 or 17yrs old when I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety. At the time, I really thought my life was over. I thought my life was really ruined. I thought it would ruin my life. But those experiences, is what has improved me, it has actually made me the woman that I am today. The struggles and the mistakes we make, is what made us today. It’s our struggles and mistakes, both present and past, that improves us.

3.) Smiles Can Most Definitely Be Deceiving.

You can’t believe that someone is really happy from on the outside appearance. One year, awhile back in my school days, I was suppose to read a poem for black history month, I was so happy about it at first, than the symptoms of depression began to come up. I felt so separate from myself. The depression became very exhausting, but I still smiled through the pain. Me, living with a mental illness, has taught me that Smiles can most definitely be deceiving and that happiness can easily be mocked up by those struggling.

4.) Normal? There Is No Such Thing As Normal.

Normal? What is normal? The way one person clarifies “normal” might be different others. Some people think those who choose to be honest are crazy, while others believe those people who live according by the rules are fruitcakes. That’s why labels are only for delivery boxes, jars, and handbags, not people. (humans) ok? Ok.

5.) The Definition Of Real Friendships. (Real Friendships!)

Living with a mental illness, people start showing their true colors, and unhappily, you start to see a lot of them prove themselves as undependable/unreliable. But thankfully, thank God, there is a silver lining. We learn the real meaning of friendships. Friends who are there whether we are laughing, crying, or being goofy. Real friends add to your life, even when your at your lowest, even when you feel like giving up. . Do not take these friends for granted.

What’s a silver lining?

Every cloud has a silver lining” it means every tough time or difficulty that causes pain, also contains a potentiality for a generous result. By seeking for any positive things (positive effects) of any problems or even a misleading circumstance, we begin to feel better, we can begin to feel more internal peace in reply to how how things stand, therefore getting back our ability to solve it if we can, or just accept it if we can’t.

6.) It Is Okay To Not Be Okay.

Almost everyday, I have to constantly remind myself , that it is okay to not be okay. Pain we endure in life is truly hard, and absolutely nothing is wrong with asking or reaching out for help when you need it. There’s no gender for depression. Depression doesn’t has no gender, race, or face.

7.) Making Plans In Life, There Is No Such Thing.

Our lives are supposed to be mapped out perfectly and we’re expected to follow a timeline right? Honestly, that kind of mindset will only set yourself up for disappointment. I had plans to go to college, and graduate in 4yrs, had plans to be doing what I love, which is being journalists, I had plans to be in my big dream house. I am 31yrs old now, and I can tell you that my life did not end up like I actually had planned, and I’m kind of grateful it didn’t. Going to a mental clinic and being diagnosed with major depression and anxiety was not on one of my list of plans to do, despite that it taught me that there is no such thing as making plans in life. Sometimes, our dreams change and so does our outlook on life. Make goals and not plans and let your experiences guide you.

8.) Being Considerate Can Save Lives.

Just about every 40 seconds there’s someone who’s committed suicide, somewhere around the world. If someone would have acted considerate and kindly, they could’ve helped get many of the individuals away from the edge. You don’t understand the impact of a action, kind, and considerate word. Being considerate and kind save lives, and caring for/about others only increases our character of life.

9.) Our Beauty Is Found In What Makes Us Different.

I’ve been taught different things living with a mental illness. I’ve also been taught that what makes you different gives you feeling. If someone told you they have a perfect life, they’re lying. There is no such thing as a perfect life, mind, or body trust me. It took me along time, to realize the power of embracing my depression and anxiety mind, that part of me that was suppose to make me feel poor, I saw that beauty is found in what makes us different, and everybody is different in their own little way.

I’ve been taught a lot of things living with a mental illness.

Life, Depression, Anxiety, Or Any Other Mental Illness? Click This!!

Made by me

If you’re feeling worthless, depressed, sad, guilty, hopeless, suicidal, or you may just need some motivation…. click the video below. This video will give you everything you need!! Powerful video.

I was watching something on YouTube and this video popped up. I watched it and just from watching it, i feel motivated! I was having a tough time, but this video lifted me up with joy. Life ain’t always good, life ain’t always rosie, but life is worth living. Whatever you are going through right now it’s not permanent. You can be cured, you can get through it and you can get pass it. We can!!!


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