It’s Been Awhile… But I’m Still Alive

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Hello everyone!! I know it’s been awhile, but I had to take care of me. It got to a point to where I lost so much weight, and I’m already a petite woman. My weight has been going up and down for some time now. My normal weight would be 114 and I had gone down to as low as 90 pounds. Oh my God right?! I’m not perfect at all, and i am also still working on me, and I’m doing so much better now. I am now at 104 pounds, and i plan to keep it this way. Sometimes I get so stressed and depressed to where I won’t eat, it’s not purposely, but if you deal with major depression, or any other mental illness you’ll understand. My doctors are so caring, it could be after business hours and she/or he would call me just to make sure i’m okay, or just to let me know that someone actually cares. They would call just to make sure I ate something that day, even if it’s eating on crackers, or a sandwich, but making sure I drink plenty fluids, especially water. I have great doctors!! They’ll call amd check up on me, motivate me, while also helping me. 

While doing all that, they also reminded me that my son Jayden needs his mother, also he needs his mother to be strong! He needs his mother to be healthy! I can’t be strong or healthy not eating or drinking anything. Like I said, it’s not purposely, but after 2/14/2019 I made a commitment to myself, no matter how depressed or stressed I may get I will make myself eat and drink something, I can’t and won’t keep doing this to myself. 

I decided that my health is way more important. Major depressive disorder and anxiety isn’t easy at all, or any other mental illness, and being around negative people, isn’t healthy. I stay in a house with 6 adults and 5 kids and I only have 1 child, there’s no peace, no quiet, no privacy, and last but not least, no understanding. My mental illness is crazy to them.

To them, my depression isn’t serious!! I can just snap out of it to them. Which we all know, it doesn’t work like that! We all wish that it would and could though right??! Depression is real! Depression can also be very severe. My depression so serious to where my doctor’s are trying to sign me up for disability. But to my family it’s not.

“You have no reason to be depressed,” or “I’ve had depression but it went right away.” This is what I hear all the time. Oh yeah and, “You choose to be this way.” Really?! Who would choose to be sad everyday? Who would choose to have a fight everyday with their mind? Who would choose to have all those different emotions and feelings everyday? Who would choose to just wake up in despair everyday? Who would choose not to eat on purpose?

Being around all that would really take a toll on you. Lately I’ve been in good spirit, and I’m not letting no one get to me anymore. I have to do better for my son and I, and that I am doing. I got a call for a 2 bedroom apartment, and I thank God for it. That’ll be a great start for my son and I, and also a peace of mind.

I’m not complaining but staying in a crowded house, plus having a mental illness, hearing nothing but negativity, no understanding about your mental illness, no peace and quiet, and people saying “you’re crazy” or you chose to be that way,” is stressful. Also, it’s not good for your health or your mental health.

This is why I understand those who struggle alone, and have no one to lean on. Some people are just careless, and ignorant. They sound just the way they talk… Ignorant.

But you are not alone, and I’m one good example. There’s plenty other people struggling but won’t come out with it because of the negativity and ignorance people say. Mainly family members.

Getting help and knowing you need help is just showing how strong you are, and that you care enough to get help and knowing what people say doesn’t matter!!

P.s sorry everyone for the long long absence to all my followers… I’m doing great, I’m much better than ever and eating everyday, and taking my medicine everyday how I am supposed too. 🥰🥰😘😘 I hope each and everyone of you have a great and blessed day/week.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there!! We don’t always do what we want to do but we always do what we have to do. We are all so very strong, and no matter what we always get the job done, and we make sure nothing goes undone for our child/children. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY EVERYONE!!

P.s I know it’s been awhile but my next post will tell you why. Talk to you guys tomorrow. I hope everyone enjoyed their day today!! You deserve it! We all do! 🥰😘

Ways To End The Stigma Around Mental Illnesses

 

Everyone knows about the stigma around mental illnesses. Everyone knows the harsh, and hurtful things that’s been said, and still being said today, about people who struggle with a mental illness. All the stigma needs to end, because we are all humans. Just because someone has cancer does that make them different? No right? Ok. Just because someone has a mental illness, that doesn’t make them different. The mental illness doesn’t define them. Calling someone with a mental illness ‘crazy’ or ‘insane’ or saying “suck it up” or “you chose to be this way” won’t make things go away. It’ll make things worse, and they’ll just isolate themselves. Take time to learn about mental illnesses, and ways to help your loved one, or whomever. Do research on the mental illness your loved one, or friend, is dealing with, and educate yourself about other types of mental illnesses. 

Stop with all the negative, hurtful, and ignorant, remarks about people with mental illnesses. Those people with a mental illness are still humans, and they do have feelings! Showing some compassion to those who struggle with a mental illness, would be classy! Being judged for something you can’t control, and others think you can control it, if you just tried to. You can’t, and won’t understand something, if you haven’t gone through it. All of the negative stigma, causes those with a mental illness, to not get help. Feeling ashamed, and embarrassed, they rather deal with it, on their own. And that is a lot of baggage! Stop the stigma about mental illnesses, especially if it’s something you’ve never had to deal with or, if you’ve never experienced it. How can you judge it? 

Stop the stigma around mental illnesses,  give those who struggle with a mental illness reassurance, and a listening ear for a change. Like I said, show some compassion. Listen, and let those explain the pain, feelings, guilt, emotions, and thoughts of having a mental illness, and the nightmare days it brings with it. Showing people with a mental illness reassurance, and letting them know that having a mental illness is okay, would help them open up, and talk about it. Stop saying things like “you’re crazy” or “you’re retarded,” because words do matters! Choose your words carefully, what you say is important. Try being supportive and helpful. Avoiding those stigmatizing statements, could actually help stop the shame and fear that’s regularly linked with mental illness. Those people living with depression fear being judged, and that right there, is a big reason people avoid healing, avoid getting treatment. 

No one expects their loved one or friend to “get over” cancer or diabetes, but it’s regularly the response when someone with depression expresses his or her feelings and emotions. “get over it” might be the worst thing anyone can say to someone with depression. “Clinical depression is definitely not a choice. No one chooses to be depressed. Come on now. Also, no depression is neither a moral failing, a weakness of will or a ghost of the imagination. Depression is a medical disorder, a biological disruption of brain chemistry linked to and triggered by some combination of genetics, family history, past trauma, stress and other elements.

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Some other ways to end the stigma about/around mental illnesses.

Talk openly about mental health, put the shame, and embarrassment to an end. 

Show those who talk negative about people with mental illnesses, that you aren’t crazy and that you’re going to make it. Show them that you aren’t insane, you have a brain, just like them, your brain just overthinks at times. 

Encourage equality between physical and mental illness.

Choose empowerment over shame.

Be conscious of language.

Treat those with a mental illness with dignity and some respect.

Stop using degrading words about people with a mental illness.

Don’t ever assume someone is okay just because they look or act okay or sometimes smile or laugh.

Depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses can often be hidden, but the person can actually still be in considerable internal distress. Support them, provide reassurance especially, when you know someone is struggling to manage their mental illness.

Finding different opportunities to pass on facts and positive attitudes about people with mental health problems, is a great start.

Stop using hurtful, and derogatory languages, the way you speak can affect the way other people think and speak. Simple

Promote positive messages of respect, hope, and, recovery, on social media. Everywhere.

For many who already carry such a heavy burden, stigma is an unacceptable addition to their pain.

Educate yourself and others.

Don’t be insensitive or blame people with mental illnesses.

Be aware of your behaviour and attitudes. You can change the way you think. See people as humans and not as labels, or stereotypes. See far pass a person’s mental health.

 

 

 

 

STOP THE STIGMA AROUND MENTAL ILLNESSES/MENTAL HEALTH!

STOP THE STIGMA AROUND MENTAL ILLNESSES ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED IT!

 

 

For those struggling with a mental illness, don’t be ashamed or embarrassed because you have no reason to be. Get the help you need, don’t try to do it on your own because you won’t succeed. It’ll just get worse, and that won’t be a good outcome. Put your mental health first, get the help you need, and watch the difference. I promise you, getting the help that you need, and making sure you take all your medicines, give yourself time to heal, and staying away from the negative, things can and will get better. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Special Apology To All My Followers For My Lack Of Posts

jackies.life/2019/03/09/a-special-apology-to-all-my-followers/

A Poem About Mental Illnesses And The Stigma That Comes With It By Me

jackies.life/2019/03/09/a-poem-about-the-stigma-of-mental-illness/

A Poem About Mental Illnesses And The Stigma That Comes With It By Me

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Cancer no problem.

Diabetes no problem.

Heart Disease no problem.

Broken bones and arms no problem.

Plenty here are deranged.

Plenty here are bipolar.

There’s plenty here that walks around so sad and feeling so hopeless.

Not knowing whether they’re coming or going.

But they won’t seek help because the stigma of mental health steady growing.

Growing from people who have no knowledge about it. 

Growing from people who haven’t even experienced it.

Growing from people who just don’t believe in it.

 Stop judging and take time to learn about mental illnesses.

Telling someone with cancer to ‘just get over it’ would be so inappropriate.

Why would someone want to feel like this on purpose?

Feeling helpless and worthless everyday.

Never looking forward to the next day.

Everyday is a fight with your mind.

Plenty thoughts in your head just floating around inside.

Others feeling like you’re just fine and doesn’t pay you no mind.

Feeling so empty inside.

Everyday of the week and every hour that goes by.

Mental illnesses is not all in the mind.

Mental illnesses can happen to you or anybody at any time.

It doesn’t matter the age because mental illnesses doesn’t discriminate.

All the negative about mental illnesses you all just need to quit it.

Some people just don’t get it or understand the pain and the guilt that comes with it.

Day by day your mind overthinks and you can’t help it.

You try to manage but your mind isn’t having it.

Sometimes you feel like you’re going insane.

Why would anyone sit and plan this kind of thing?

Why would anyone want to feel like this everyday in shame?

Never feeling the same feeling nothing but shame because of the negative things people are saying.

Everyday is hard everyday is a scare.

Everyday feels like you’re living a nightmare.

Surrounded by people who don’t care and people who believes that you’re okay.

Not understanding that you’re not okay and that you’re in pain just about everyday.

Aches and pains all the time making it hard to get up and move around.

Feeling nothing but despair inside.

Feeling nothing but guilt, pain, and emotions.

Feels like you’re riding on a rollercoaster.

Stop The Stigma If You’ve Never Been There.

 

 

Expressive Jackie

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The stigma about mental illnesses is truly sad and rude. If you ask me, it’s actually very cruel. Those who struggle with a mental illness or more is still human. Calling someone ‘crazy’ or ‘insane’ isn’t cool at all. Having a mental illness is hard as it is, and for people to down talk someone with a mental illness, having no type of experience of it, is just ignorance. Period! 

 

This poem is about mental illnesses, feelings, and the stigma that comes with it. It’s no game, and i really wish people would understand. Mental illnesses are real, and can even be severe. You are not alone, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You aren’t the first and definetly won’t be the last, go get help because your mental health matters! This too shall pass. 

Keep The Faith And Pray, And Know That One DAY This Will Pass!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

x

Simper

“Simper” Poem By Me… Expressive Jackie

https://jackies.life/2019/03/05/simper/
— Read on jackies.life/2019/03/05/simper/

Simper

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Everyday is full…

Full of highs and lows

Full of tears and sorrows

Full of frowns and no hope for tomorrow

 I’m on this journey alone,

Hoping and praying that this pain,

this depression will release from me

I’m tired of pretending

Tired of hiding the feelings and emotions i feel within me

But through everything i still continue to smile

Smiling to hide the emotions, feelings, and guilt that

I feel inside

Pushing all the lies aside

To enjoy myself and to have a good time

It helps to make life worth while

I lost my daddy at a young age

I hated i had to say my daddy was dead

So many thoughts ran through my head

And til this day

I needed you to stay

I didn’t expect to be this way

Tell my baby girl mama said hey

I’ll never forget that day

The day she went away

But inside momma

She’s going to stay

But like i said through everything i still smile

Even if it’s for a second or 1 min

A month or maybe even a year

But a smile can make sadness disappear

I’m making progress

I have dreams of becoming a actress

Life is like a book

Because every day is a new look 

A new page

A new day

To do what you have to do.

I refuse to wake up in despair

I refuse to feed myself into distress

continuously look for a better way

Until then, i’ll stay focus and keep pushing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyday Battles Of Depression Poem By Me Expressive Jackie

Everyday is a battle.

It is the most darkest place one could face alone,

A journey filled with struggles solo, all alone.

Everyday filled with many groans,

Everyday is a new battle,

Against the same competitor.

Yet the enemy exchanges blows back with irrational roars.

It sneaks up on you in your most helpless shape,

Mostly when there’s no around who can communicate.

The thoughts in your brain begins to expand and distend,

Which drags you into your private repressed nightmare.

Fabrications and organism from your past

Served as pain, that you can’t withstand.

Lastly sleep always comes as a greeting friend,

Knowing the next morning the continual battle begins yes, yet again.

Never Ends!!

This poem is about the daily struggle with self image, feeling like you’re not good enough for yourself or nobody else. It’s a daily battle of trying to feel accepted, and also, the struggle of learning to love yourself.

In order to love someone else, you have to first start by loving yourself.

Everyday, there is a battle to face. But don’t give up, life is to short, put a smile on your face, and take control over those battles you face, everyday.

Do you like my poem you just read? Feel free to like, comment, and share. Let’s stop the stigma of mental illnesses that’s flying around in the air. If you care, share!!

Good morning to all of my followers, and readers. Thanks for taking time out of your day to read what i have to say. I hope and i pray, that today, each and everyone of you, has a blessed day.

Trapped In Depression Poem By Me, Expressive Jackie

Trapped In Depression Poem By Me, Expressive Jackie

https://jackies.life/2019/02/03/trapped-in-depression-poem-by-me-expressive-jackie/
— Read on jackies.life/2019/02/03/trapped-in-depression-poem-by-me-expressive-jackie/

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