It’s Been Awhile… But I’m Still Alive

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Hello everyone!! I know it’s been awhile, but I had to take care of me. It got to a point to where I lost so much weight, and I’m already a petite woman. My weight has been going up and down for some time now. My normal weight would be 114 and I had gone down to as low as 90 pounds. Oh my God right?! I’m not perfect at all, and i am also still working on me, and I’m doing so much better now. I am now at 104 pounds, and i plan to keep it this way. Sometimes I get so stressed and depressed to where I won’t eat, it’s not purposely, but if you deal with major depression, or any other mental illness you’ll understand. My doctors are so caring, it could be after business hours and she/or he would call me just to make sure i’m okay, or just to let me know that someone actually cares. They would call just to make sure I ate something that day, even if it’s eating on crackers, or a sandwich, but making sure I drink plenty fluids, especially water. I have great doctors!! They’ll call amd check up on me, motivate me, while also helping me. 

While doing all that, they also reminded me that my son Jayden needs his mother, also he needs his mother to be strong! He needs his mother to be healthy! I can’t be strong or healthy not eating or drinking anything. Like I said, it’s not purposely, but after 2/14/2019 I made a commitment to myself, no matter how depressed or stressed I may get I will make myself eat and drink something, I can’t and won’t keep doing this to myself. 

I decided that my health is way more important. Major depressive disorder and anxiety isn’t easy at all, or any other mental illness, and being around negative people, isn’t healthy. I stay in a house with 6 adults and 5 kids and I only have 1 child, there’s no peace, no quiet, no privacy, and last but not least, no understanding. My mental illness is crazy to them.

To them, my depression isn’t serious!! I can just snap out of it to them. Which we all know, it doesn’t work like that! We all wish that it would and could though right??! Depression is real! Depression can also be very severe. My depression so serious to where my doctor’s are trying to sign me up for disability. But to my family it’s not.

“You have no reason to be depressed,” or “I’ve had depression but it went right away.” This is what I hear all the time. Oh yeah and, “You choose to be this way.” Really?! Who would choose to be sad everyday? Who would choose to have a fight everyday with their mind? Who would choose to have all those different emotions and feelings everyday? Who would choose to just wake up in despair everyday? Who would choose not to eat on purpose?

Being around all that would really take a toll on you. Lately I’ve been in good spirit, and I’m not letting no one get to me anymore. I have to do better for my son and I, and that I am doing. I got a call for a 2 bedroom apartment, and I thank God for it. That’ll be a great start for my son and I, and also a peace of mind.

I’m not complaining but staying in a crowded house, plus having a mental illness, hearing nothing but negativity, no understanding about your mental illness, no peace and quiet, and people saying “you’re crazy” or you chose to be that way,” is stressful. Also, it’s not good for your health or your mental health.

This is why I understand those who struggle alone, and have no one to lean on. Some people are just careless, and ignorant. They sound just the way they talk… Ignorant.

But you are not alone, and I’m one good example. There’s plenty other people struggling but won’t come out with it because of the negativity and ignorance people say. Mainly family members.

Getting help and knowing you need help is just showing how strong you are, and that you care enough to get help and knowing what people say doesn’t matter!!

P.s sorry everyone for the long long absence to all my followers… I’m doing great, I’m much better than ever and eating everyday, and taking my medicine everyday how I am supposed too. πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜ I hope each and everyone of you have a great and blessed day/week.

A Poem About Mental Illnesses And The Stigma That Comes With It By Me

jackies.life/2019/03/09/a-poem-about-the-stigma-of-mental-illness/

Simper

“Simper” Poem By Me… Expressive Jackie

https://jackies.life/2019/03/05/simper/
β€” Read on jackies.life/2019/03/05/simper/

Mental War Poem By Me

jackies.life/2019/02/14/mental-war-poem-by-me-expressive-jackie/

Mental illnesses are real. Your mental health matters!! Poem by me. Check it out.

Your Mental Health Matters

Good morning everyone. Happy Wednesday to you all, and i pray that you all have a blessed day.

Times get hard, but don’t give up, never give up, just keep pushing. Mental illnesses are extremely hard, and a lot of people don’t actually believe that they’re severe, and the affects that they can have on a persons everyday life. But that’s why im here, to explain, and to let everyone know that mental illnesses (depression) are in fact so real, that a person you’re around almost everyday, could be struggling with a mental illness, but won’t say nothing because of the stigma of mental illnesses. Being ashamed, and embarrassed, but im here to tell you, your mental health matters!

I wanted to share with you all how good my video is doing on Pinterest. If you have time, please do check it out. Let’s stop the stigma of mental illnesses. I’m so proud of how many impressions my video is getting, it means my video is being seen.

Check it out and tell me what you all think.

Also, please feel free to leave a comment below, and/or like if you enjoyed the show. (Haha) Also, follow me for more. Thanks everyone, you’re very much appreciated.

https://pin.it/tnbx5kge2h363g

Depression, Or Any Other Mental Illness? It’s Okay

Depression, Or Any Other Mental Illness? It’s Okay

https://jackies.life/2019/02/09/depression-its-okay/
β€” Read on jackies.life/2019/02/09/depression-its-okay/

Depression, Or Any Other Mental Illness? It’s Okay

Struggling with depression? It’s okay, you are not alone, and everything is going to be okay. Depression takes a toll on you, especially when you’re not getting help, most people talk negative, and most people don’t care.

Depression makes you feel so guilty, and hopeless, all the different emotions and feelings makes you lose focus, makes it hard to maintain, feeling like your going insane.

But, don’t give up, everyday is hard, and everyday is rough, but never ever give up. There is help, and you are not alone, depression is the darkness place, for anybody to face alone.

Getting help doesn’t mean you’re a coward, or that you’re weak, getting help just means you care about yourself, and you also care about your health, by any means.

Depression can be so severe, making your life a living hell, making everyday feel just like a nightmare.

Don’t think depression will go away on it’s own, because it won’t, each and everyday it’ll just worsen.

It’s okay not to be okay, you’re human, nobody’s perfect, don’t do it alone, getting help is the right way for you.

Getting help can help you heal, and feel better, and not so ill, you’ll be able to handle things, you’ll be able to live.

You’ll be able to focus, you’ll be able to feel normal again.

Now, of course things won’t happen overnight, but it’s worth getting help, it’s worth the fight. Don’t let depression, or any other mental illness, win, and don’t let them cause you to lose sight on life, this fight you will win.

Get the help you need, know that it’s okay, and always keep the faith, keep praying, and always keep positive people around you.

Remember, just because you struggle with a mental illness, that does not make you different. Just because you struggle with a mental illness, that does not mean you’re weak, it’s just your mind, it just overthinks, and most times you can’t help it.

Get help, you can fight this, don’t ever be ashamed, or full of embarrassment. You got this!

Everyday Battles Of Depression Poem By Me Expressive Jackie

Everyday Battles Of Depression Poem By Me Expressive Jackie

https://jackies.life/2019/02/08/everyday-battles-of-depression-poem-by-me-expressive-jackie/google-site-verification: googlec0a003ea1c7bbac6.html
β€” Read on jackies.life/2019/02/08/everyday-battles-of-depression-poem-by-me-expressive-jackie/

#depression #battles #everyday #mentalillness #mentalhealth #depressionisreal #writingcommunity #poem #poetry

Everyday Battles Of Depression Poem By Me Expressive Jackie

Everyday is a battle.

It is the most darkest place one could face alone,

A journey filled with struggles solo, all alone.

Everyday filled with many groans,

Everyday is a new battle,

Against the same competitor.

Yet the enemy exchanges blows back with irrational roars.

It sneaks up on you in your most helpless shape,

Mostly when there’s no around who can communicate.

The thoughts in your brain begins to expand and distend,

Which drags you into your private repressed nightmare.

Fabrications and organism from your past

Served as pain, that you can’t withstand.

Lastly sleep always comes as a greeting friend,

Knowing the next morning the continual battle begins yes, yet again.

Never Ends!!

This poem is about the daily struggle with self image, feeling like you’re not good enough for yourself or nobody else. It’s a daily battle of trying to feel accepted, and also, the struggle of learning to love yourself.

In order to love someone else, you have to first start by loving yourself.

Everyday, there is a battle to face. But don’t give up, life is to short, put a smile on your face, and take control over those battles you face, everyday.

Do you like my poem you just read? Feel free to like, comment, and share. Let’s stop the stigma of mental illnesses that’s flying around in the air. If you care, share!!

Good morning to all of my followers, and readers. Thanks for taking time out of your day to read what i have to say. I hope and i pray, that today, each and everyone of you, has a blessed day.